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Archive for July 27th, 2006

Too Fast for Love

Posted by gmadrid on July 27, 2006

When do you know that you lost your soul?

4 years ago I had a life altering time. I ended up sitting on the floor with countless bottles of pills infront of me ready to end it all. And something stopped me. A single thought which kept me occupied for the next 18 hours. Then I realized I hadn’t changed my clothes or showered in a week I cleaned myself up and proceeded to change my life. The woman I was died on that floor that night, and the woman I am now was born. My life improved steadily over the next few months and I was happy. Everything about me I had changed from my looks, to my eating habits to my religion.

In the past couple of months I have started to feel empty. Asking the question “what do I need to do to get over this?” in meditation, with the tarot, with runes. I have missed signs or not received any as to what to do next in life. Nothing seems to energize me anymore.

I was channel surfing about a week and a half ago, and came across a Motley Crue documentary on MuchMoreMusic, and the thought came to me “I need to get more rock n roll in my life”. I had abadoned my roots in everything when I changed my life. Let myself get too serious about things, about how I viewed the world, and how I let the world view me.
I used to be a major Motley Crue fan. One of my favourite albums is Too Fast For Love. I listened to that over and over and over when I was 12 as the background music when I read Anne Rice’s Vampire Lestat for the first time. It has a deep connection to the “old me” that is the baseline to myself.

So when do you know you lost your soul?
ginger's attitude

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